Simple tips for a flawless Christmas

Okay, you’ve worked hard to get Christmas ready – and you’re at full stretch, but let’s go through the final checklist:

• Turkey
• Sprouts
• Roasties
• Stuffing
• Gravy
• Family
• Presents
• Elderly Parent…?

Now, anything I write comes with a caveat because it depends how your parent is and what problems they have. But I have known homes where it’s all fine UNTIL… (insert own words…).

For example, my Grandmother lived with us for many years and what she would do at Christmas is thoroughly enjoy lunch, but then become grumpy afterwards; sitting in pole position in front of the television and going to sleep. Inevitably, this meant we all had to be quiet so as not to disturb Grandma!

This very common problem is solved with the use of BOUNDARIES. And it might be a good idea to run a little training course for your family on it.

BOUNDARIES

It’s a difficult balance to strike and never more so than at Christmas, but homes with a parent who’s in need of care, will often have the rest of the family present for Christmas too. As far as possible, Christmas has to work around the whole family, not just the Parent.

• Parents who need care get tired at Christmas – this is because the energy levels of the family are high and this can be overwhelming for them.
• Parents who are confused get extra confused at Christmas – because it’s so different from a ‘normal’ day.
• You need to set your Boundaries so that Christmas works for the whole family.

SUGGESTION

By asserting your Boundaries for Christmas, you take control of proceedings. You’re the Leader of the Pack. Your role is kind Carer; not Entertainer.

• When your parent arrives for Christmas show them their Sanctuary – this can be as simple as a chair that is allocated to them, or it could be a quieter, but still festive, room to go to if it all gets a bit much.
• Explain what’s going to happen – e.g. lunch, crackers, pudding etc., but explain that they can go to their quiet place whenever they want. This gives them permission to seek a quieter place.
• Notice if they get tired – say how pleased you are to have them with you and tell them you may suggest they go to their quiet place if you notice them flagging.

My Father was always pleased when he was given permission to leave the table. By allocating them a special place to go to, most elderly people will be only too pleased to oblige.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

If you are a Carer this Christmas, I hope these tips will help you over the festive period and you have a wonderful time.

Caroline