Shout-out for working mums!

SHOUT-OUT FOR WORKING MUMS!

The Kellogg’s Foundation has just released a Study that declared “Parents do 43 jobs – before going to work.” I mentioned this to my neighbour, who’s a mum of two, and she said “And the rest!!”

Have you ever wondered where we would all be without Working Mums? Fulfilling a demanding role is a challenge in itself. For those who are also mothers, there’s a whole other job for them to do at home. For them, lost in the mist of time, is the idea of rising calmly in the mornings and enjoying a quiet, restful evening.

The ladies I am privileged to work with are usually holding management, executive or extremely demanding roles and running a family. The beauty of coaching is that they get to rediscover who they really are, reignite their dreams of Motherhood and learn a whole bunch of skills to aid parenting and communication with their children.

So, do they have a problem at work? No they don’t. They are highly competent, highly respected and things are going well. So, do they have a problem with home and the family? Often, but not particularly; kids are kids and it’s their job to be naturally challenging. The main problem is that they are hugely conflicted by the combination of pressure from work and home.

This is a crucial time for families because it’s often Mothers who lay the foundations for the whole family to have an easy time and for their children to stay firmly “on the rails”. Inevitably children push boundaries, and this is much easier to handle when you are relaxed, resilient and understand behavioural responses.

If you’ve ever felt really stretched at home or with the children, I urge you to read on.

WHY?

• Your Wellbeing: It’s a curious thing but, especially if you’re a mother, your Wellbeing matters hugely to your children. [And by Wellbeing, I mean your health, happiness and certainty that you’re Valued by your whole Family.] The World is very small when you’re a young person, and children gauge how their World is doing by affirming how well their Mother’s is doing. To this day I clearly remember bursting into tears and being utterly distraught when I first noticed my mother had a grey hair and I thought she was going to die. I must have been 4 or 5 at the time. Took my mother by surprise too! To ever see her upset was simply awful.

• Time is precious: While you’ve been working hard and climbing the Corporate ladder, your children have been busily growing up; and those years are gone forever. I’m currently working with a mum who has been in an executive role for many years and who also has a 2-hour commute each way. She deeply regrets missing so many years of her children’s lives. Of course, strictly speaking she didn’t ‘miss’ them. But that’s what it feels like to her; and regret is a heavy burden to bear. Coaching can help you get things in perspective and make decisions that work for you too.

• Dealing with Guilt: Then, there’s the whole issue of Working Parent GUILT…! But then, being a working mother enables the whole family to have an easier time financially; and your children like having nice things. Let’s face it, if you work, you work and guilt has no place. Let’s Just make it a good experience all round.

If any part of this resonates with you, it’s time for a new plan! And that plan is to get the family bit sorted and look after yourself too; or as I say, Put yourself in the frame! Here’s a lovely frame…:

I DON’T THINK OUR PROBLEMS AREN’T BAD ENOUGH

One person’s trauma is another person’s small inconvenience and there isn’t a hierarchy of problems where some are more worthy of attention than others. It’s a question of how it appears to you at the time and how it makes you feel. If you’re a busy working mum, the thing that pushed your buttons today could be something relatively small – like one of your children not putting their socks on or screaming at you in the kitchen. Or, on the other end of the scale, it could be the fear that they’re starting to use [drugs , alcohol, substance, gambling] again. The effect on you in the moment is the same.

I’ve known of mums who hesitated getting support for themselves – because they didn’t want anyone to think their children were unruly or that they weren’t coping.

But then, if you wanted to improve your Golf-Swing – you’d get a Golf Coach. If you wanted to improve your child’s maths, you’d get a Maths Coach. If, as a Working Mum you want to improve your wellbeing and parenting – Get a Working Mum Coach.

SO, WHAT HELP IS AVAILABLE?

There are many Parent and Mum support groups around and I know of some good Facebook groups for business professionals too. One thing to watch out for, especially On-line, is committing to a lengthy programme before you’re sure it’s the right one for you. Another thing to avoid is the glamorous Guru that promise the earth – if you’ll just pay them £10,000 up front!

Ideally you need a solution that covers all aspects;

1. YOU as an individual,
2. How to reduce pressure from the particular combination of work and home and,
3. Accessible skills for dealing expertly with the children’s behaviour – whatever that may be.

WHAT CAN I OFFER YOU?

I specialise in coaching working mums myself. Sometimes we work on self-esteem, sometimes it’s stress, but from the start, we cover everyday family issues and put in place the building blocks for an even more successful family life.

If you think you might benefit from improving the balance between parenting and your full-time job, you are welcome to have a no-obligation call with me that will pinpoint exactly what you need and identify the best way for you to get it.

FINAL THOUGHT

Before you know it, your beautiful children will be off your hands and making their way in the World.

I know so many professional working mums who are experiencing stress. The fact you’re still reading this blog, means that you could be at full stretch too. But it doesn’t have to be like that.

Now is too precious a time for you to be overwhelmed. These are the years to make a lifetime of happy memories you’ll look back on for the rest of your life. So how about taking the first step now?

Let’s have that call soon and make your life as a Working Mum easier.

Click here to contact me and we’ll book it in.

Caroline

Tel: 020 8213 5898 or 078 3638 6735
Email: carolineday@wellbeingdynamics.com
LinkedIn: Caroline D’ay
Facebook: Wellbeing Dynamics